Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
