those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
