Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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