My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
