i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
