we're blogging at a bar
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I just had sex on a roof
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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