Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
