i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
