WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize