We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
