Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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