She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I AM VODKA MAN
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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