well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
That accounts for only three of the penises
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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