i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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