you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
