i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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