One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
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