I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
