I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
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