people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Randomize