He is an equal opportunity slut.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
