Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
