Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
