We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
