his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
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