epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
