I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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