hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
