Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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