Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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