yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
this beer tastes like vomit already
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
