Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
