is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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