We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Randomize