hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
