I think im going to throw up on grandma
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
