did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize