First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
