i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
