I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
