Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
