my mouth tastes like poor choices
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
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Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
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i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
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