There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
