I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
