the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I have aggressive nipples.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
