It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
