So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
