East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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