my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
