she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
