I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
