then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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