i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
