This dress was meant to end up on your floor
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
