I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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