I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
