he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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