Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
