i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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