I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
